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Entertainment
RSS Feed Of Entertainment Tuesday, January 19, 2010
EVE OF DESTRUCTION
Bulldozing amusement parks that are more Macho than Mickey
While operating heavy machinery might not be your idea of "amusement," there are a growing number of people out there (you know who you are) that get their biggest kicks from digging, hauling, crashing and crushing. If you're the type that still has your old Tonka dump trucks, G.I. Joe vs. Cobra tanks, or a motorized mini Jeep, there are several places that cater to your juvenile fantasies of construction and destruction. Now, you can bypass rattling roller coasters for thrills at theme parks that let you get behind the wheels and haul a$$ on some of the largest, most powerful utility machines in the world (or maybe just in Europe):
Tanks-A-Lot: You don't have to join the armed forces to test out these monster machines. In the UK's Northamptonshire lies a farm where no flesh and blood animal roams. Instead, for a fee, you can drive one of over 90 massive, 50+ ton beasts of steel. You can also crush cars, fire 18th century muskets, and "offroad" through various courses. And for those corporate execs who think a little heavy metal will bring their staffs together, Tanks-A-Lot offers company team building packages. (Trust falls are so yesterday anyway.) There's nothing like a little camo and some ancient firearms to get your employees cooperating. At the very least, parks like this may allow them to release their aggressions on a machine other than that Xerox that seems to be jamming all the time.
Diggerland: Fusing conventional theme park rides with large construction vehicles, Diggerland is a unique UK amusement park where attractions are based not on animated characters or the latest action flicks, but rather dirt. Not only can guests get their dig on by driving, excavating and racing in various machines, but they can also buckle up in traditional lunch-losing theme park rides that more closely resemble The Big Dig than Disney's latest. The Sky Shuttle, which thrusts brave souls high into the air, is definitely not for those inclined toward vertigo. And for those who don't turn green at the idea of the spinning teacup ride, the Spindizzy is like a giant digger version of the teacup, in which daring patrons sit in the shovel at the end of a tractor arm spinning like a rogue sprinkler.
Männerspielplatz: The name of this German adventure park translates to "man's playground." But here, both men and women can race quad bikes, go offroading in Unimogs (four wheel SUVs that seem most appropriate for jungle exploration or snowplowing), jackhammer giant boulders, shoot things with a bow and arrow, hang glide, and, with a nod to Diggerland, excavate dirt in a gargantuan Komatsu backhoe. If you idolize Mike Rowe or Bear Grylls, this action sports/construction site/adrenaline junkie paradise may be a better getaway than that all-inclusive Caribbean resort you were considering. Just don't forget to pack your hard hat.

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